Friday, August 13, 2010

I see the sun...

I have been absent again due to my aunts death. She lived a great life of 89 years and I was fortunate to be with her, talking to her, holding her hands when she passed away. It is not something that I thought I would be able to handle but I did because I wanted her to know it was okay to go.
***
The last couple of months have been so hard...
between all of my daily duties, I was with her frequently.
Now I feel a void in my life and I need to get back into some sort of a daily routine.
I am amazed by how many times a day I call her number to check in on her...
I've been to her house several times since her passing and its so lonely and quiet.
The oxygen machine is gone, her hospital bed is gone and she is gone.
***
I will live my life as she would want me too...
I will remember her everyday...
I will cry some more...
but I will carry on.
***
It's just so sad...

1 comment:

Tam said...

good morning. I'm coming out of lurkdom. Beautiful post. I lost my Gram on 7/22, I feel like you wrote this post for me. I'm feeling the same way, I've picked up the phone to call, I've driven by her house and "beeped", I've cried daily since she passed. I wish you strength, hold on to your memories of her.
Hugs.